I didn’t want to write this post. I rebelled against it. Who wants to write a post about a hormonal teenager? Not me; not when I am in the thick of pre-teen awesomeness. I remember being even worse at my daughter’s age. Many of her strengths and weaknesses are my strengths and weaknesses. It takes work and selfless dedication to love a preteen and teenager through the messy years.
My husband called me the other day expressing his desire to take our soon-to-be twelve-year-old daughter out to dinner. He is equally as frustrated at times with her current behavior, but it’s a different dynamic for mothers and daughters (if you are a mother of a daughter, you get it). I listened, and nodded my head, and pushed back the emotions caught in my throat.
She’s entering some of the most important years of her life. I don’t want the reason she rebels to be because we didn’t do enough.
Those words hit me hard. Sure, there are times when children manipulate and try to divide us as parents, but our love for our children should never be compromised or lacking. We needed to express our love to our daughter more. Verbally and physically. One-on-one attention was needed. The more we actively invest in loving and spending time with our children, the easier it will be to like them during this stage of life.
The preteen age is full of unpredictable emotions. Our children will try to pull us into their emotional instability; as parents, we need to be a calm and steady front for them (easier said than done, I know). Middle school is a tricky time full of finding out who we are and who the world around us thinks we are. There are a bazillion changes happening within and without. Nothing seems to be normal or feel constant. They are fighting against wanting to grow up, yet still very much a child.
Here are six important things to tell your daughter before middle school:
HOME WILL ALWAYS BE A SAFE PLACE
Even though you may get mad at us, home will always be a safe place. A safe place to unwind, relax, express emotions, and come to us with any question or concern. Home should always be the number one place for you to feel safe and have fun. Let’s make time to laugh and smile together!
*If they feel unloved, judged, angry, bitter, or resentful, they are more likely to not feel safe and rebel.