On Why Assumptions Ruin True Friendship

My assumptions keep me from living in freedom.

Assuming my house is too messy in comparison to what my friend’s house might look like, keeps me from inviting guests over.

Assuming that other moms will think bad of my unruly child, keeps me from scheduling play dates.

Assuming that other people will look better in a bathing suit at the beach, keeps me from putting one on and splashing in the ocean.

Assuming that others won’t think I measure up because of ________________, keeps me up at night.

What about you?  Do your assumptions of yourself and others keep you from real friendship?

As I had coffee with a sweet friend the other day, we chatted about this very thing.  It’s often our fear of not measuring up that keeps us from getting together.

What if we were really real with others?  What would that look like?

If you are stressed with all that people pleasing nonsense, here are 5 simple things you can work on to overcome it!

1) Throw Away The Assumptions

Assumptions . . . you know what they say about those, right?  We look foolish when we make them.  It’s in the first three letters.

So don’t make assumptions about others, and don’t accept the assumptions that others label you with!  What does God think about you?  How does He see you today?  Run in freedom with who God made you to be today!

2) Throw Away Perfect

You will never have a perfect home, marriage, or family.  Give up the illusion of perfection.  Just as dust appears up on your mantle daily, there will be dust in areas of your life and in the places that you try to hide or cover up.  Crumple up all the assumptions in a big old ball, and throw them in the trash can.

3) Say What You Really Feel

Stop just people appeasing and express how you really feel.  It might mean saying that you are having a crappy day instead of just saying you are good.  It might look like sharing some trials and asking for sincere prayers from those you love.  The first person you should and can do this with is God!  Go boldly to His throne and ask for grace and mercy.  He’s waiting to carry you through whatever you are going through today.

4) Love Others Well

To love others well, we need to let down our walls.  We need to lay down the fears and stress we carry on our backs.  Loving others well means actually following through with what we say.  As my friend so wisely put, let’s stop saying “It’s the thought that counts,” and actually do the work that love requires.  Call that friend today.

5) Take Time To Heal

Perhaps, like myself, you need time to heal from things.  Whether it be physical, emotional, or spiritual wounds, there are seasons of life that are for healing.  It’s not selfish to make the time to do so.  Say “no” when you have the opportunity.  Go to the gym.  Eat healthy.  Go for a walk.  Forgive that person.  Spend time quiet before the Lord.  Whatever healing looks like for you, make the time to do it today.