Traci Michele Photography

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Your Blog Will Never Measure Up!

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In the same way that we will never measure up to that super model, super mommy, super (fill in the blank), we will never measure up to someone else’s blog.

Someone will always have more followers, more comments, a better layout, super-spectacular vlogging techniques, better photography, etc.  Get the point?

Where along the way did we fall into the trap of measuring the “popularity of a person” by the size of their blog?

When is enough, enough?  When we get that new layout?  When we’ve reached 300 followers?  When we feel appreciated and heard?  It’s never enough in life, right?  There will always be someone thinner, prettier, smarter, and more efficient as a mom/wife/child of God (at least in our own eyes). 
It’s not my job to measure myself against someone else.  I will never be satisfied if that is the case!  You will never be satisfied.
You are unique, special, and loved far beyond your wildest dreams by your Savior. 
Let me repeat that, because it is so very important that you hear it.
You are unique, special, and loved far beyond your wildest dreams by your Savior.

He has called you to a special purpose.  Are you a wife?  Mom?  Student?  Grandma?  Employee?  Be diligent to do the very best with what God has equipped you with.  That’s all He asks of us.  And… He loves you no matter what (even when you fail miserably)!  

Recently, a reader emailed me these GREAT questions:

Hi Traci,
I took a quick look through your blog, and you addressed something I’ve been wondering about. How DO women find the time to do a blog, plus the other kazillion (it’s my word, OK! He! He!) things we do and still have the balance? Any thoughts on that from a fellow Christian married blogger would be GREATLY appreciated.

If you don’t mind my asking, approx. how much time do you devote to your blog day/week? I’m trying to get an idea of what is “normal” for women with husband/children. I want to be put in adequate time to get a decent following, but not let it take over other things in my life.

Thanks much,

Sue  
 
Hi Sue,
 
Ok, I think this is something all bloggers have to face at one point or another. I’ve had too… when it becomes too much and it is taking the place (joy/time/etc) of real life, it is time to take a step back and reevaluate things. Always ask the Lord to bless your blog if that is what He has called you to do… but not to bless it or even take it away if it becomes a “god” in your life. That way, you have asked the Lord to safeguard your blog 🙂 Also, our husbands and kids will give us an honest opinion. If all they see is us on the computer, then there is a problem.
 
In the beginning (when I first starting blogging in June of 2009), I was on the computer all the time. WAY TOO MUCH! Trying to keep up with all the other blogs, kind of in the way we try to measure up with other women. I did everything to gain a follower. I had good intentions, but also the flesh got in there.

Now, I’m really not on that much. I just devote time to writing a blog post as God leads, and visiting those who comment on my blog. If I do have a free block of time, (when kids are in bed or napping or husband is out) I’ll take an hour or so and just go visit other blogs and comment.  I know what an encouragement it is to get a comment/follower, and I like to bless other women who have invested their time in blogging. 

I think every family situation is different. Like I said, asking our husband is a great way to go! I would attempt to do what you need to do around the house (make a schedule) and also schedule some time in for blogging. Setting a timer is always a good idea… when it goes off, so does the computer.

Don’t get caught up with trying to measure up to other bloggers… there are so many out there and feeling like we are enough (or our blog is enough) will never be good enough. It’s just like our sinful desires… when is enough enough? Don’t get caught up in that (been there done that).

God has called you first and foremost to be a good wife and mother to your 3 1/2 year old. Feel free to ask me any other questions as they come up. I really appreciate you asking.
Love in Christ,
Traci
HOW TO SAFEGUARD YOUR BLOG
So let’s recap (because I’m a list-kinda-girl):
1.  When blogging is taking away your joy and time, take a step back and reevaluate things. (Matthew 6:34: Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.)
2.  Are you constantly feeling inadequate by comparing your blog with others?  Ask the Lord to give you contentment and purpose in what your blog is today. (Psalm 139:14: I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.)

3. Ask the Lord to bless your blog if that is what He has called you to do, but not to bless it (or even take it away) if it is becoming an idol in your life.  Idols lie and leave you empty and lonely.  Only God can fill the empty places in your life. (1 John 5:21: Little children, keep yourselves from idols.)
4. Ask the people closest to you what they think?  Ask your husband and children.  They will be sure to give you an honest answer.

5. Make a schedule for things you need to accomplish in your home/life.  Put first things first.  Just as you schedule time for cleaning/teaching your kids, schedule in time for blogging.  (Luke 12:42:  And the Lord said, Who then is that faithful and wise steward, whom his lord shall make ruler over his household, to give them their portion of meat in due season?) 

6.  If you are tempted to stay on the computer too long, set a timer!  When it goes off, close your computer and move on with your life.

7.  Remember your most important calling (if you are a mom/wife) is to be a godly wife and mother.  (Titus 2:4-5: That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.) 

8.  Social media can never completely fill the voids in your life.  We are all a work in progress, and the Lord is so faithful and gracious with us.  Ask Him to satisfy your deepest longings instead of finding that satisfaction through self-approval and feedback from others.  (Psalm 90:14: Satisfy us each morning with your unfailing love,so we may sing for joy to the end of our lives.)

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Comments

  1. Amen!!! this is a great post! But I have to admit I read it really fast, I might have miss a thing or two!!! But I think your are very wise and this blessed me today!

    May I share this post on facebook, please?

  2. Your post today really addresses a lot of things we all face. I tend to be on the computer a lot because I’m alone a lot and it fills the time, but we’ve got to keep everything in perspective. If we don’t enjoy life, what’s the point. Great post!

  4. There is much wisdom in this post, especially for the new blogger. I was drawn in by blogging in the beginning and realized I was on all the time! It was not good when I found myself feeling frustrated when my kids were interrupting my computer time (but computer time was ALL the time). So I did a lot of exactly what you recommended. Took a step back, got my husband’s opinion, and reevaluated.
    Thanks for sharing.

  5. Great post. I do spend too much time on the computer. And sometimes it needs to go back to priority and why you do it.

    Ps. Mrs. Stams facebook post brought me here. 🙂

  6. Thanks for sharing this. I like the check list and it will definitely come in handy now and in the future. It will be great to have the list to double check I am doing what I need to be doing and not filling all my time with blogging. I can definitely loose time reading blogs.

  7. What a wonderful post! Thank you for speaking up and saying what so many women need to hear. I hope this speaks to many women today.

  8. Excellent post! I’ve fallen into many of the traps of blogging including comparing myself to others but last fall I handed it over to God. I now write out a schedule for myself each day and use timers. Thanks for the great reminder and the encouragement.

  9. Such a good post! I have battled with all the things you have addressed. I had to step away from blogging for a couple days and get my priorities straight. It isn’t my blog, it’s God’s blog. I want everything I say and do to be pleasing to Him. Thanks so much for sharing this!

  10. When I read the title of your blog I thought, Oh no! She’s read my blog an she’s talking TO me! Thank you so much for your blog today. In the beginning, I, too, spent way too much time on the ‘puter. I think listening to your husband is great advice.

  12. Excellent post, Traci! I’ve been feeling like I need a break from the computer, and my blog isn’t even big! I don’t know how you ladies do it.:) Thanks for the reminder to keep our priorities where they need to be.

  13. Thank you so much for this post. I deal with this on a daily basis…not being ‘good’ enough! There are many other blogs and bloggers are out there in cyberspace. I have had to ‘stop’ looking at them all the time because I tend to really get down on myself. I am learning that, while I may not be the ‘perfect’ blogger, I know that God has directed me to blog and therefore He must have a reason. There must be someone that needs what God gives me to write.

    Thank you & God bless,
    Debi Baker

  14. uuugh…how did you know? how did you know i needed to read this? God is using you girl today. I JUST had my quiet time.literally. I prayed that he would help me take away the inadequacy I feel when I compare myself to other bloggers. It stinks.because it does rob all of your joy.

    thank you my friend. i need to keep the focus of what he’s called me to share.

  15. Traci, thank you for this. What a great post. I’ve dealt with all the issues you covered. My blog belongs to God. It is His ministry. My blog will never be like the others, because it is from my perspective on things God gives me. Thank you for this. Blessings

  16. What a great post!! I have been there, struggling with “keeping up”. And you are correct. When a blogger experiences the overwhelming feelings; take a step back. I have done just that…
    Thanks Traci

  17. Agree with Shannon, a lot of wisdom here. “How much time …” if we are asking that we have probably spent enough that day. Hey, I’m getting off to go read a book! (Good post)

    wb

  19. THANK YOU! I felt like you were saying this looking me straight in the eyes. It’s exactly what I needed to hear.

    I linked to it as I prepare to enter a time of silence to do some evaluating of some the very things you mentioned in this post.

  20. Excellent post!!!! Thank you for putting into words what I have been thinking about lately.

    I caught myself competing with other bloggers in January…I stopped and took it to God for direction and I went from writing 5 days a week to 3 days a week and God has been blessing my blog in ways that still surprise me.

    I realize now that I may never be a “big girl” blogger…but I am writing what God leads me to write…making some friends…encouraging others…and learning a lot from some amazing Titus 2 women.

    My life regained balance recently when I stopped being on the computer throughout the day and started being on a short time in the morning before my family is up and then writing at night a few days a week when my children are sleeping and my husband is writing/studying.

    I feel so much less stressed and so much more joy with life! Not just my writing! 😀

    God bless you for this article…so many times we can hear the opposite…and if God is in control…He will bless it in His way in His time! 😀

    Building Home with Him,

    Mary Joy

  21. Great post Tracy! When I started my blog a couple years back, I decided not to go crazy promoting my blog. I don’t have a lot of followers but I also don’t have a lot of pressure to post all the time or post certain material. I can post as I feel led. It’s what has worked for me. Blogging can bring on a whole new kind of insecurity or pride. It’s important to keep yourself in check.

  22. Thank you for this post Traci! I often get into a rut where I spend way too much time on the computer. I mean did I really think I could keep up with the 250 blogs I tried to follow. Recently I have began paring down those that I follow. I only want to follow those that I truly want to read. This is great information!

  23. When I first thought of opening a blog I didn’t think of followers. I just wanted to show my sister in NZ what craft work I had been doing! I have made many lovely friends and just enjoy writing and photography and sewing..it’s not numbers it’s having the opportunity to meet people and communicate that is great about blogging for me.

  25. Wow Traci, you really nailed it with this one. Anyone who blogs, or does anything for that matter, falls prey to the “doesn’t measure up” monster.
    I love the check list…gonna print it out so I can keep myself on track. I admit to spending too much time – often because my computer is so slow! LOL Still, I need to keep it all in balance…something every woman struggles with whether they write or not.
    Donna
    anotherbattlewon.blogspot.com

  26. I totally agree with your post! It is easy to get caught up and engulfed in the blogging world. So far I have been able to keep it as an avenue to record special family moments and our schooling journey, but sometimes I need to remind myself it is just that and not to turn it into more. I have realized it is not something I can do while my children are awake, so I have to schedule time when they are sleeping. And then again that is the time to catch up on housework, start dinner, etc. Yes, there definately has to be a balance to get to everything.

  27. This was a great post, Traci!

    It is really strange but when I made the move to my new blog, I started to feel a great amount of freedom in just writing on it again without stressing out about gaining followers. I have truly been enjoying the whole process.

    I also noticed that the greatest amount of time spent on “blogging” is never the posts that I am writing but rather too much blog reading that gets me into trouble!

    As to obsessing over layouts and such: well…as you know, I am a bit hopeless about that whole business:D

  28. Traci! You are amazing and I praise God for your boldness in addressing issues some may fear to touch. Thanks so much for these awesome words of wisdom. May God continue to bless you. You spoke to my heart…and the hearts of many others no doubt.

  30. Love this Traci! You are always so faithful to post exactly as God has laid on your heart. I always enjoy reading your posts. I think we all struggle with this – but like you said, letting God safeguard our blog can let Him use us without losing our focus and purpose in the blog world. Love it! 🙂

  31. Thanks for this post! (I am recently new to blogging and can see how it can effect your life negativily if you let it)

  32. Wow, thank you so much for this post. It’s so true! I was just at Titus2 this morning and the speaker said “cultivate your own talents, stop seeking others’ talents”. Love it. Found you through faithblogs 🙂

  33. I don’t find that actually writing my blog posts takes up that much time – not too much anyway, but finding the time to read all the others I’d like to read can be very difficult.

    There are so many good blogs out there, and – like you – I like to visit those who visit me (and others too!). This can take up a whole load of time…. especially if ‘one good blog leads to another’!

    This is where *I* have to limit myself. I’d love to visit loads of folks, and leave a comment on each one, but sometimes I have to say No.

    But we can make ourselves feel too guilty too. The truth is that I seldom go out. I homeschool the kids, so I’m here with them all the time. I’m always here when my hubby comes home from work, so he never comes home to an empty kitchen! I don’t belong to groups or clubs, and I seldom meet up with friends unless hubby and I have some visitors in our home. So, all in all, the time I spend on the computer doesn’t really compare with what I’d spend out of the home were I living a different kind of lifestyle.

    That said, there are always points to watch. And if one of the kids is trying to talk to me, or hubby is trying to tell me about his day at work, and I’m glued to this screen…… then it’s time for Plan B!

  35. I have to admit, once you can get to the place where you don’t care as much about getting recognition for your blog, it’s easier and more peaceful, and for me, more enjoyable! But the hard thing is getting to that place. A lot of us have to go through the process. This post is a good guide, too! I’m sure many relate. 🙂

    Steph

  36. This was super helpful too! Since starting to work full time (to help pay for Christian education) I’ve had waaay less time to keep up my blog. I’m surprised how much god has showed me through it and IT”S OK to not have a day-to-day updated blog!! There WILL be a day where I’ll have more time to devote to it, but for now, I want all my extra time for my family!!

  38. Thank you for sharing this! God really spoke to me and it came at just the right time. I love it when we get honest with ourselves. Trusting God to bless my blog however He sees fit. It is still a pretty new addition, and I have too found myself blogging WAY TOO MUCH! Committing to God this week to spend more time in prayer and in the word than at my computer screen.

    THANKS AGAIN!